These 3 tactics will immediately make you a more likable person:
1. Ask open-ended questions and get people talking about themselves
The key is to not interrupt the person and let them finish speaking so they feel like you care.
Be interested in them.
There’s nothing to change about yourself to become more interesting and likeable – what you need to do is become more interested.
When you become interested in other people, they like you.
Most people don’t actually get listened to. Most of the people they interact with are simply talking, and when they are listening, they are just waiting their turn to talk again. It’s rare to have someone actually listen to you and not just waiting for you to let them speak.
If you ask someone an open-ended question and let them speak until they are done, they will feel listened to.
Caring about someone and having a genuine interest in them is all you need.
Most people’s favorite subject is themselves, so if you share their favorite subject with them, you already have that in common.
Finding commonground is a reason to like someone – coming from the same city, the same school, anything you can find.
The takeaway here is to show interest in the other person.
2. Use Neurolinguistic programming
When you mirror and match someone, they will feel that you are just like them.
It comes down to your physiology – your body posture, facial expressions, breathing patterns (shallow or deep).
Everything that has to do with your physical body, you want to match what they are doing. When you are feeling the same way they are feeling, and when your body is matching theirs, you will begin to subconsciously feel like you are just like each other.
Match their speech – how loudly or quietly they talk (volume), how fast or slowly they speak (pace), the types of words they use (lingo), the pitch of their voice (tonality).
Sound like them, look like them, act like them. They will naturally begin to like you.
3. Like yourself and like others
At the end of the day, people will like you when you don’t care if they like you or not. People will sense if you want them to like you, which makes you appear needy or desperate for approval. Be happy with yourself and find yourself interesting and likeable.
Then, find the things about people you like, and they will like you back. If you are noticing what you don’t like about other people, you will subconsciously signal this to the other person. They will sense it. Focus on finding things you like about the other person, and you will begin communicating this to them both subconsciously and consciously.
About the Author: John Payne. Author, Speaker, and Peak Performance Coach known for his impactful style of speaking on how Confidence and Sales Skills relate to achieving success in Business and Relationships. In 2016, he began Selling With Honor to help other coaches attain their dreams.